In 2015, I was working as an assistant to a well respected music publicist. I had held this position for three years, and I was ready to move on.
There was only one problem… I was too scared to actually do it.
I loved some parts of the job. Mainly the festivals, late night club sets and weekends in Vegas, but overall I felt unfulfilled, underpaid, and underutilized.
90% of my time was spent at a desk, creating spreadsheets, doing hella mail merges and scheduling press interviews.
There was little room for new ideas. They just needed someone to get the tasks done.
But three years into this job, It wasn’t working for me anymore. I arranged several meetings with my managers to let them know I was ready for more, that I needed more.
But deep down inside I knew I just didn’t want to work in music PR anymore.
I was afraid to quit for several reasons:
1. I had no idea what I wanted to do next
2. I felt a sense of loyalty to the company
3. I thought I was tripping and that this was just a season of unhappiness that would soon pass.
One day, I coordinated what ended up being my last meeting with my managers. It was another attempt at letting them know I was ready for a promotion.
I was so upset that I went home and cried. Cried y’all!!
In order to distract myself I got on twitter and my timeline was going CRAZY! The Department of Justice had just decided there would be no charges made against the killer of Mike Brown. It was at this exact moment, reading the cries of my peers on twitter that I stopped caring about my job.
The world all of a sudden got bigger and I felt ashamed for crying over a situation I had full control over. I told myself that I was not going to think about my job status for the next 48 hours and however I felt on Monday morning was going to be it.
Monday morning rolls around and I decided that life was too short to be spending so much time doing something I didn’t love.
I decided I was going to quit. And I did. That very same day.
No job lined up. No plan. I just needed to go. I was too emotionally invested in the status of my job. Even though it didn’t really pay well and I wasn’t really doing work I was proud of. I still felt like this position “made me.” #redflag
For the next two years I would embark on a journey of “finding my lane.”
I took graphic design classes, front end web design classes, bought myself a DSLR, got several UNPAID internships.
I tried anything that I was even remotely interested in.
Fast forward to 2018. I’m producing content everyday over at Blavity working on projects that feed my soul, that serve my community, that truly make an impact!
And I get to finally see a long term vision (More Juice) come into fruition.
(Peep this note I wrote in 2013 to see what I mean). 😉
Long story short y’all. Whatever you do..do it for the love. Otherwise, what’s the point?
— Marissa, @rissa_denise